Greenwitch

Its really late here, Hubby has gone to bed, I went out to Jem and Elsa and Colin, after a day of chatting i was not done yet but know I am just quietly contemplative.

I love being awake really late as I know exactly where my Mom and Ouma are and i can clearly picture them in bed sleeping, it's the one time when i feel if i sit in meditation , I can get really close in spirit and shower them with love. Michelle and David I just sit in their room and watch them and pray for them , kinda like Willow does to me, he is sitting next to me now, unable to go to bed until i do......isnt love wonderful.

Which brings me to the next thing on my mind, I had a chat to Jeremy tonight and I had to word myself really carefully but sometimes it's really not a good idea to just GUSH all news to people , sometimes it's so much better just to keep it to yourself and then you only have to deal with your own expectation and baggage and not everyone elses that you told all putting their two pennies worth in......"Well i think blah blah blah "

I bumped into out local priest in the co-op and got asked so when is the wedding date, I was quite taken a back EVERYONE in Watlinton knows Jeremy has a girlfriend.

As a young girl I GUSHED every detail of every occurance but now as I get a little older I find a sweet velvety sweetness of things left unsaid and held close.

I love Jeremy as if he where my own Dad and we have been through soooo much together in the last 16 months but I still often feel like he is the child and I am the adult. He said tonight that his instincts never let him down but I can count at least 5 straight away where he has been very wrong.

I also want to look at what gives people comfort, what happens when we are faced with only ourselves and our own thoughts no distractions no outer comfort. What then, in dark nights of the soul, when the shit hits the fan, where does your stability come from ? I feel frustrated when people say God because when you are in that place even the people in the room don't make that much difference.

I am tired now so will off to bed......I have felt a slight build of negative energy in my body the last few days especially around the throat area another huge storm comes through tomorrow and hubby says he is quite relaxed about my feelings as they correlate 100% all the time with the weather but it is just not logical , why does my body tune into storms ?

I am still praying for that little granny who knows all to move in , a female Gandalf.maybe she is here as a spirit guide ?

Good night.