Greenwitch

Its always so hard to know what to do.

The children are happy at school BUT the kids they bring home are another story, I cannot chose loneliness anymore ! BUT they all seem so dysfunctional, yesterday D's friend came shopping with us and was really excited as at 10 he has never been to a farm shop before, its 10 mins away from his house.

I always give the children some money so that if there is something they want they can get it with out the need to ask, as the mommy please can I have , created a sense of poverty and lack in Keith and I, as children BUT they know what they can and cannot buy , now D is wanting what the other children want and I have to let him boohooo/or do I say no ? I am not talking about sweets as they don't bother asking me about all those things but yesterday when D got home his tongue was bright blue and he looked at me and said "Sorry mommy" they day before he wanted to try school lunch again and decided to try the milk they keep giving them, luckily he said it was disgusting, both the food and the milk , oh horror, when i think of what was in it !

This morning they walked into the village and ate lunch together and the local fish and chip shop , disgusting ! BUT its independent and he was sooo happy.

this child is on medication, equasym, so I looked it up, its as I guessed ADHD. This is sooo sad. And i find myself getting annoyed as he wants cold drink, he does drink water and then takes a sip of a full glass of filtered water and throws the rest down the drain saying yuck ! I have to walk behind and say don't touch that and please take your shoes off in the house and on and on as this poor child tries realllly hard to fit into a family that seems as cookie to him as he is to us.! And he seems to hang on to me and Keith more than play with D and part of me wants to just say GOOOO away and another feel guilty.

I look forward to My friend being here next month as the kids can play with her kids.

One more thing there is to be acamp out at school and we decided to help out for an hour at the camp fire....we got paper yesterday as we have to be police checked before we can join our son at a camp with other kids there...I KID YOU NOT !