Feeling a sense of renewed energy this morning but WOW was I in a bad mood last night, alot of things I am still needing to put into practice and for one I start to add Surya namaskar to my morning routine.It has to be possible, I want to be healthy and strong, do yoga, have another baby, live well to 85 with all my mind and heart and emotions intact.
Be of some value to the people around me and find an inner peace so that when my time comes I can say OK I am ready.
Right now I am classified as obese, I have constant aches and pains, I am not so sure about my mental health as my windmill wheel spins out of control.
I am effected by the weather systems , the change in season and the moon.
I am sooo lonely and yet can't seem to connect to people anymore, they are so irritating and upsetting and I can only take a group for about and hour or two then have to leave and spend time alone !
I find the older I get the more I need my mother, sister and grandmother, I find I want to cook for them and be with them alllll the time, hanging washing together ect but most of all, I miss the quite times of sitting with a cup of coffee talking/sewing /reading.
And when it comes to sickness and death I am still soooo irritating even to myself, I sweat and get palpitations, my legs start tingling and I get dizzy. and people love talking about who has cancer and who is sick and dying grrrr.
I seem to go up and down up and down. Someone said to me the other day i hope you can fall pregnant as you seems almost menopausal, for shit sake I am only 33 and ant you say something nice ! OR was she right ????
I have 3/4 months before we start trying for baby....I need to sort myself out !
read tonight about sleep deprivation
night time feeds
cracked nipples
sitting with stitches in your hiny,,,ohh I have forgotten......Is it wrong to question , if I have what it takes ?
1 comment:
yes yes, I also feel this sense of not 'fitting anywhere'! and the more I feel I blossom and evolve and shine, the more I feel I 'fit' less and less. My latest exploration which has been brilliant, is not having an evening meal. really nourishes liver, allows body to be free of digestion for longer time, and it might be a great way to prepare for your little one. Eat well, live well, and dont feel any shame or blame for missing your syster clans. Its a natural expression of the feminine! and something that wimmin now crave (and dont even know they are craving for syster soul song)
You would delight in the two books 13 clan mothers and wisdoms daughters. x
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