Greenwitch

James J. Lynch, Ph.D. in his 2000 book, A Cry unheard : New insights into the medical consequences of loneliness, Dr lynch draws particular attention to the formative role of parent child relationships. We know the basics confidence etc but it has now been proved that it has medical implications.

I found this interesting as i had said before about a little boy in my extended family who i had picked up is not actually suffering from the medical conditions that his mother is treating him for but is suffering emotionally.

Yesterday I saw his father as I unexpectedly walked round the corner, punch him on the chest, a full hard mans punch. It really upset me but the realization was so clear to me, after one hour with this family they where totally transparent to me.Thick stupid emotionally closed up people and the child, still open and connect is withering like a pretty flower left in pot plant in the sun.

James W Presscott the founder of the Development Biology program of the US national Institutes of health and human development studies aggressive culture, found, a low score on the infant physical affection scale correlated with a high rate of adult physical violence.

One of the hallmarks of the societies that exemplify healthy aging is that children are loved , held, and cared for constantly. They are rarely if ever scolded or shamed and the idea of striking a child is completely foreign.

I do smack my children, when they are ugly, not naughty, on the bum with my hand so that they understand the implications and the severity of their actions, I try hard to never shout or raise my voice so that when I do, my kids listen very quickly and in a life or death situation I feel this is important. But I have Never shamed my children and made them feel like dirt, or unwanted.And after a smack they are told , why it happened and they always feel loved. As I get older I feel even this may not be optimal.

Colin and Elsa said yesterday to Keith " we love you soo much Keith and we don't understand it but we feel like you are our child and that Angela and the children belong to us too, you as a son have given us our third daughter and two more grandchildren, we both had children coming into our marriage and never had children of our own and you are those children. And Keith said to them " thank you and I feel the same about you as I,v never had parents "

Elsa cooked for three days before we got there, the table was decorated and the best china was out and she sent us home with sandwiches and Keith's favorite cake and Colin wrapped his arms around all of us one by one when we left and told us he cared and was looking forward to seeing us again soon.

We both drove home with so much love inside with a feeling of no matter what the week brings , we are loved and we are together and its wonderful to be alive.